I don’t think Limp Bizkit’s “Nookie” song was about llamas. But then, I’m guessing he hasn’t met many llamas.

Cause these guys…

…well, they are all about the nookie.

Huan-Hua drove Elli and I up to Yellow Wood Farm yesterday, and when owners Laura and Fred walked us out to the llama barn, we were greeted by a stampede. If the llamacam is working, you can kinda get a feel for what it looked like. Except with more llamas, all of them taller than me. “You never feed us, you never bring us water, you never scratch us, you don’t show us off to company, you don’t love us….” (is what the llama herd seemed to say.)

Seriously, these were needy llamas, and we were all too happy to indulge them. We met Hopper, a 7-month-old llama who thinks he’s a four-legged human. (Drat. Huan-Hua says his name’s Cooper, so I’m deaf or forgetful, one of the two)

We met Michelle, who thinks humans are just two-legged llamas with better back-scratching technique.

We met Chatty, a show animal whose regal neck-arch radiated llama superiority (you could just hear her thinking to herself, “I am too sophisticated to actually ask for back-scratches, but do you think they’ll give them to me anyway?”)

We met Lewis, the blind llama with a story that would inspire that home makeover show with the irritating guy from Trading Spaces to build a new barn for the entire llama herd made out of solid gold and his buddy the three-legged llama whose name I can’t remember now. Both of these guys think they’re perfectly normal llamas, which makes sense, because Laura and Fred (Fred and Laura?) treat all their animals like part of a big, happy family. Sadly, no photos of these guys.

I got to feed Captain Curry, the lone studly guy in the female herd (the guy llamas had been sent off to the far reaches of the farm to hunt and gather while we frolicked with the smaller, friendlier female herd).

And finally, we met Paco, the singer from Simply Red.

I mean, the lone alpaca in a herd of llamas, though, thanks to Michelle, I have photographic evidence of considerable inter-species cooperation.

Actually, there might have been more than simply four-legged inter-species cooperation. Note Elli’s coy could-we-slow-things-down-a-bit-you’re-my-first-llama look here:

And her no-means-no body language here:

Despite (or perhaps because of) her forward nature and her constant advances, Michelle The Llama made such an impression that both Elli and Huan-Hua bought some of her (admittedly fabulous) silky-smooth roving for spinning. That wasn’t it, either. We all took home a good Indiana-llama-heavy haul of yarn from what looks like the world’s best personal yarn stash…

…but really supplies the online store at Farmhouse Fibers. Did I mention they ship? And that llama fiber–at least their llama fiber–is softer than alpaca?

Just try to resist. And if you can, then you clearly haven’t met the right llama. Or the right llama owners.